You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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