VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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