after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
