I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
