take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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