so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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