I think scott just propositioned me for sex
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
