Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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