the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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