well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize