Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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