what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
