I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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