erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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