They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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