why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
