I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
