I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
