maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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