This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
