She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize