your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
