just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
