Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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