Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them