i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!