My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
