I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.