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So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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