He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.