How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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