They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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