I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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