Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize