First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
