somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Terrible idea I love it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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