3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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