yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
