Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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