He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
