Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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