Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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