ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In America we eat man semen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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