my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
