Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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