Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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