You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
