this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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