i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
