I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my being single is dangerous.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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