remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize