Are we in a gay sports bar?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
