I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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