Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
