Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize