My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
