you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
