I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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