I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
