Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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