he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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