There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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