he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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